Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Chinese jokes

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is Jewish gentleman from Poland.

Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'"

Ethiopians in Israel

Baltimore riots are teaching Israel's left about the power of race politics. They organized a sit in of Ethiopians protesting against police violence. Israel always wants to be like America, but the Ethiopians are not African Americans, they are less Bantu and more Archaic. They drop out of the schools and the army, cannot hold employment and be assimilated. From 5 to 10000 original Falashas that lived in Gondar, we let in a mass of 150000 unrelated, generic Ethiopians.  Arutz Sheva writes:

The New Israel Fund, which is associated with the radical left wing and has been deeply involved in stirring up conflict between different sections of Israel's population over the years, denied on Monday any formal involvement in Sunday's rioting by Ethiopian-Jewish Israelis.

Monday, May 04, 2015

Stocks

Nano Dimension lifted 10% today making me 120% in two weeks (I wrote here that I was buying). It is a startup of a 3D printer, probably similar to B's. Teva made up for my lemons (IDB). I am still meditating if to buy STB in the Perth bourse. The Eritrean project is budgeted 500 million dollars, I am afraid pioneer investors will be screwed first.

Saturday, May 02, 2015

Self-portrait of the Artist


M16 Chief applauds Saudi Meritocracy

The chief of MI6, the British Secret Intelligence Service, until last year, John Sawers, wrote an article in Financial Times about Saudi dynastic dynamics.  "The House of Saud is becoming something of a meritocracy", he comments on the promotion of the new king Salman's son (pic) to deputy crown prince. Is Sawers suggesting that Salman held some kind of competitive exam for potential candidates? What I see is a clear sign of nepotism: the king securing the throne for his genes and sidelineing potential rivals. In other times, he would have them assessinated. Of course, Sawers is not just licking the sandals of the new rulers but has inside information that young Bin Salman's merits deserve his advance over tens of thousands of Saudi princes that are not the king's sons, and more democratically, over millions of potential Saudi applicants.  

Uche's Problem

DearBunmi,
My problem is my husband. Before we got married, he was very decent and a gentleman. Since we got married, however, he has turned into what can best be described as an animal. He likes to have sexual intercourse in unusual and perverted ways. Although we have a comfortable bed, he likes to lay me on a hard floor. He asked me to suck him. I want to please him in this, but the thing is so large, it always makes me choky. I never asked him to do anything abnormal so why has he turned into someone I now fear? It has got to a point where I hate making love to him. I have even thought of running away. Uche, by e-mail.
- See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/11/hubbys-love-making-irritates/#sthash.kwL1i2pe.dpuf

Nigerian etzesgiber Bunmi advises Uche "To meet him half-way". Koko says: "Not half-way but all-the-way. Sweetie, you need practice. Practice makes perfect."

Friday, May 01, 2015

Napoleon in Egypt and the Copts

From the wealth of discarded books in Ariel University, I lifted a life of Napoleon by Michael Broer. He led a fantastic expedition in Egypt with 160 savants that studied the country and published the first comprehensive report on the new (and ancient) world discovered. He easily defeated the Mamelukes (fore-runners of the Chechens) and tried to provide rational, enlightened governance.  But the Muslim natives did not take to European ideas so, being an artillery officer, convinced them with whiffs of grapeshot. He had to employ Christians: in the police, Orthodox Greeks; in tax collection, Copts. Like everywhere else, the French Revolution left a durable impression; in Egypt, a deep hate of Christians that did not exist before. Greeks had been living in Egypt before the times of Herodotus, none of them is left. The Copts are still hanging on, but their evacuation from Egypt is certain and a question the opportunity arising.

It is a logical and historical certainty that the French Revolution, the Enlightment, doomed minorities everywhere.

Napoleon also devastated Eretz Israel. After he left, the Beduins occupied the wasteland.   

Thursday, April 30, 2015

What about the smelt sardine?

It is conforting to see that one is so clearsighted: I did write here that the California program to protect the habitat of the smelt sardine was lunatic. Today it was dropped. California Dept of Fish and Game Director Chuck Bonham said the amount of land targeted for environmental improvements was revised because there was "too much complexity" in the original 50-year plan. The environmental improvements were projected to cost $8 billion, while the new plan will cost about $300 million.
 

Koko, who maintains a pied-a-terre in California, thinks it is far too much. Let the sardine be fried. 

Syrian Amateur Sniper

I respect professionalism. A man should give his full mind to anything he does and become good at it, should it be floor swiping or terrorizing innocent civilians.  My very first job was swiping the floor of a shop and was sacked/retired in an hour for inexperienced. At 12 y.o. I learned that even the most menial task must be learned; you swipe with the right hand and pivot with the left one. Try it. The Syrian sniper is doing it wrong: you have to secure the weapon on a hard, solid stand, not on a pile of pillows. He is an incompetent amateur, unworthy of the status of professional terrorist. Moreover, he is smoking in bed. A clear security risk; more for himself than the enemy.

To rescue Or

All the Israeli trekkers in Nepal have been rescued, only one is missing: Or Asraf. He belongs to an elite Zahal unit that fought in Sejara in the last Gaza operation. His comrades from the unit are in Nepal searching for him.

Israeli rescue units have been attacked by the desperate natives. One man was decapitated by heli blades in an accident when a mob tried to climb an aid helicopter.

Update May 2, 2015: Or has not been found yet. Israel has sent the first and the largest and best organized relief mission of all. More than 1000 European tourists are still missing in Nepal, and while one cannot say that nobody cares about them, the world media is largely ignoring them. They are stunned by Israel's reaction. Specially by the saving of the homo's children.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Poisoning Our Vital Bodily Fluids

"Studies published this year have suggested a link between fluoridation and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, as well as an underactive thyroid. Scores of studies, mostly done in China, have also shown that high levels of naturally occurring fluoride in water harm brain development and reduce IQ."

We in Israel have noticed an increase of the above conditions. Now we know why. Many municipalities add chlorine and fluor to the water.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Mass Poisoning in Egypt

A barge carrying 500 ton phosphate fertilizer capsized in the Nile, poisoning the drinking water of towns downstream. The Government denies it. How much phosphate did they drink? 500 ton dissolved in say 15 minutes Nile flow (est. 100,000,000 liters) produces a concentration of  5 mg P/lt raw water, which is not toxic. The poisoning is rather typical dysentery of higher early summer temperatures.

Jewish Gays have no Breasts

True, but they are Jews and as such, under social pressure to reproduce. Since they have no vaginas nor breasts, they hire surrogates to produce children. Israel subsidizes hetero would be parents, but homos have to travel. Romania, Thailand, India prohibited international surrogacy and America is expensive, so Israeli gays go to Nepal. About 20 such babies were born in Nepal in the days that preceded the earthquake there. As a result, their parents reported situations of extreme distress, car back seats replacing the incubators in which some of the preemie babies had been held, and other difficulties.

Likud right-wing leader Feiglin quoted two such men, who had been staying at a hotel that collapsed, as telling the press: “We got away with the children but the state [Israel – ed.] is not helping us. We have no diapers, there is no Materna [breastmilk substitute – ed.] and it will soon be nighttime, and it is starting to rain.” Suddenly, when the outer shell of enlightenment and progress was abruptly shed,  it suddenly turned out that a man has no breasts, and he cannot feed a baby."

J (no homophobe if they increase our numbers) says: "So what?"

Judaism: Closing Down

All over the world Jewish communities are hardening and emerging from the debilitating process launched by the Haskalah movement 150 years ago. Even HaAretz notes the trend:

When Daniela Dawan’s first nephew was born, in 2000, the family travelled from Milan to Rome to have Italy’s most prestigious rabbi, Elio Toaff, perform a giyur katan – newborn conversion – on the infant, whose mother wasn’t Jewish. By the time Dawan's niece was born in 2002, however, no Orthodox rabbi willing to perform such a conversion on the offspring of a mixed marriage could be found in the whole country.

In an increasingly open, diverse, liberal world, a very hard core Judaism is developing. We are becoming a much smaller but much harder people. Muslims in the West will eventually soften and assimilate, but the minuscule Jewish nation will survive these times of transition. Pic of the next generation: An English speaking yeshiva in Jerusalem.