Thursday, June 18, 2009

Secret Engineers Wanted


THE MOSSAD IS OPEN

Only to 13 Secret Engineers

Do you dream of sodomizing Ahmedenijad with a dynamite stick? Would you like to decapitate Bin Laden with a plastic knife?

The Mossad is open. Not to everyone. Not to many. Maybe to you.

12 comments:

Dennis Mangan said...

And you have to be able to read from right to left.

J said...

Farsi and Arabic are written from right to left, but that may be the easiest part of the job. Surviving for months on camel meat is tougher.

J said...

Farsi and Arabic are written from right to left, but that may be the easiest part of the job. Surviving for months on camel meat is tougher.

Ronduck said...

Surviving for months on camel meat is tougher.

I'm sure it would be nothing for those Spam-eating Okinawans.

J said...

You really got fired up by the idea of eating all that Spam. The problem is that the meat of an old male camel stinks to heaven and you need steel triturator teeth to deal with it. Should you happen to be assigned to Iran, know that they have special breeds of sheep with extra large fatty tails, and all food is cooked in its grease. Forget about cutlery, use your fingers as Allah intended you to do.

Ronduck said...

After I moved out of home, I would buy the generic version of Spam, slice it and fry it for lunch. I was too lazy to do much else other than that or make sandwiches.

DaveinHackensack said...

Once in college I was drunk and hungry and microwaved some Spam and ate it. It felt like gravel on the way back up. I only had it one time since, when I went to a trendy sushi place in Seattle several years ago and they offered Spam sushi. We ordered it out of curiosity.

J, re the Mossad, did you ever read Victor Ostrovsky's book on it? Actually, I think he wrote more than one and I am referring to his first book, which was more or less a straightforward account of his training and missions. I think he later became a big critic of Israel and wrote books with that angle.

J said...

For the record, Spam is unavailable in Israel. I prefer corned beef.

Read Ostrovsky's book, it is a very green trainee's diary. The poolside orgies are products of his steamy imagination. Youngsters always imagine that those fat old bosses have tremendous sex lives, how they fuck all those gorgeous secretaries, specially in foreign missions. They masturbate believing themselves bosses. Ha.

Ronduck said...

The poolside orgies are products of his steamy imagination.

Damn, and I was gonna apply too. Maybe the tales about orgies are a way of enticing Israelis to join.

Orgies certainly sell better than camel meat.

J said...

Unfortunately, poolside orgies are imaginary, old bull camel meat only too real.

At least you in America have young presidents, like Clinton and Obama, who may have a sex life. Our president is Shimon Peres, aged about 86, whose idea of an orgy must be Victoria's Secret Summer catalogue.

Ronduck said...

Netenyahu may have a sex life. Maybe he dreams of orgies with several Orthodox women at night.

I thought the president of Israel was a ceremonial role.

J said...

Our Presidents know of no ceremonial roles. They are old politicians who exploit their visibility to keep making trouble.

Netaniyahu is a healthy, strong, middle aged man, with a crazy fat wife. Must be practicing AES each night.