Today is Dia del Amigo in Argentina and an old (in all senses) friend sent me a pic taken at his marriage (He married at 18). My first reaction: How like my number three daughter! The same angry expression, the same hair, the same everything. I dont think anyone could recognize me from this pic, but she could be identified in the street. I am reborn and living in her. I feel pity.
29 comments:
This is apparently the dismal expression required of teenagers in all ages and in all places - " I am no longer an innocent. I have seen the way the world works and it is not the way I would have wanted it to be." Americans in general are trained to grin like idiots at all times, but teenagers successfully resist this. Every once in a while my 15 yr old daughter forgets and smiles but then she catches herself and goes back to the required angry look. She is having a hard time remaining properly glum at the moment because she obtained a plum summer position at a particle physics lab at the U. of Pennsylvania and is having the time of her life, but I'm sure she'll recover shortly.
K
Congratulations. You may be very proud.
I figure that this is what those Russian Jewish revolutionaries of the early 20th century looked like.
And now that I think about it, the features and expression match mine from ten years ago...
Thank you. Yes I am proud but I am also concerned. She is of ridiculously high intelligence - the kind of person who will be unable to explain their work to you because it is beyond the comprehension of ordinary mortals - already I have only a vague idea of what they do in her lab. The ordinary world is not really made for such people and they don't always have an easy time living with (relative) idiots like us. It is a great gift but we know that gifts always come with strings attached. Certainly it is a very good kind of problem to have compared to other types of tsuris but it is not a pure blessing - there is no such thing.
K
K, is her summer project to discover the much-predicted Higgs boson? I hope she will earn a little bonus if she does; like the $1M for the Nobel, for example.
Anyway, if you wish to sound knowledgeable about her interests, you can always mention this as a throw-away comment.
Follow it up by expressing the opinion that you always felt,at heart, that the most fundamental texture of matter is quantized.
Anon.
I could fake it with most people but not with her. And since I am her father, she would not hesitate to call me on it instantly. So with all due respect to you Anon, this is a bad idea in this case.
K
K
What is important is that she is in a Jewish environment, which I presume she is.
My daughters also are so high IQ that feel that explaining something to me would over charge my circuits and crash my neurones. My small daughter organized a "vintage sale" with her friends at the Moatzat HaNoar, and made an enormous amount of money. Really. When I asked where are my Nicaraguan stone idols, my copper and green shade desk lamp, and other personal items, she said it was junk and I wouldnt understand. Wife is uber chochem too, she collaborated with her project. They are very concerned with the stuff the universe is made of, specially if it is vintage.
And specially if it is mine.
Why is it so important for K's daughter to be in a Jewish environment? Regardless, I suspect her environment is more Jew-friendly or Jew-neutral than Jewish. There's not a lot of money in particle physics, which means lots of foreign, especially Asian, graduate students.
Anyone marrying at 18 would look like that. See some of the pictures of Levi Johnston.
Dear Anonymous
In my experience, Jews are not only or always motivated by money; my views are that in a real Jewish environment, money is seen as good thing, but a means to an end, and the true end is the creation of wealth, "sensu lato".
Needless to say, knowledge is a form of wealth and there are many cases where Jewish people will pursue it to extreme, quite oblivious of money.
Consider Szilard, or Paul Erdos, for example. These people could have enriched themselves selling real estate or speculating on Wall Street, or whatever, but instead enriched all of humanity with their efforts. Ditto Jonas Salk and countless others in the biomedical field.
Furthermore, they are prone to enable and recognize the occasional eccentric goyim who devotes himself in the same way, when the rest of society is indifferent or hostile.
This is one of the reasons they have flourished amongst us, despite the obvious difficulties.
Anon.
Ivan
My friend married at 18, not me.
He married a native Argentine girl, has three boys, one more unsuccessful than the other.
If K's daughter is in a Jewish environment, he can be sure that (1) she will not be beaten or abused by her collegues, (2) she will not be drawn into illegal or criminal activities, (3) she will be protected by her friends, (4) she has a good chance of pairing off with a boy of middle class family that will have some education, and (5) that K will have healthy and successful grandchildren to say Kaddish on his tomb.
My daughter has a strong Jewish identity and I hope (though I can't be sure) will marry a Jew. The old stereotypes that the goy will drink and beat you up do not hold anymore - this was always more about class than religion. There are (unfortunately) a number of mixed marriages in my family now and AFAIK, the husbands do not beat the wives. The difference among the Jews is that they were (even when they were working class) upwardly mobile and on a trajectory toward the educated upper middle class while the goyim that your friends intermarried with were working class and destined to stay working class. Now that the Jews (of America at least) are comfortably ensconced in and socialize with the higher classes I am not concerned - Chelsea Clinton (who is about to marry a Jew) will not produce children who are hoodlums like your friend's offspring.
Most highly elite universities in the US (the kind my daughter is likely to attend and the kind her current lab is at) are maybe 1/4 to 1/3 Jewish, which is quite remarkable given that this makes the Jews over-represented by a factor of maybe 10. The Jews in these universities are on a spectrum from nominally Jewish to frum and there are Jewish organizations for all levels. Except perhaps among leftist anti-Israel types, anti-Semitism is virtually unknown or at least deeply hidden well beyond the pale of permissible discourse (if it exists at all, it has not prevent Jews from ascending to the very top ranks including university presidents - one can only shudder to think how dominant the Jews would be in the absence of such anti-Semitism).
Jews have always interacted with non-Jews in the workplace. If you have a strong Jewish identity it will remain intact. It is not necessary for the Jews to lock themselves into all Jewish ghettos. Her lab, like all modern scientific endeavors, is a veritable UN of nationalities. As the others point out, Jews, contrary to stereotypes, are not motivated solely by money. My daughter is aware that she could make more money if she became something other than a scientist but she won't starve as a scientist either and she will (she hopes) find fulfilling work in that field. Beyond a certain point, money does not buy happiness - certainly you may be happier owning a car than walking on foot, but is the Mercedes owner 100% certain to be happier than the Toyota owner? The man with a 500 sq. meter house (or 2) happier than the man with one 200 sq. meter house? In my experience there is little correlation. For some, the material goods are a burden that they have to drag around like a ball and chain - their stuff owns them more than they own their stuff.
I believe that mourning rituals are for the living - the dead, being dead, don't care about such things.
K
I doubt that her colleagues in a physics lab would beat her up or attempt to draw her into crack sales, even if they were not Jewish. On the other hand, the criminal world has never lacked for Jews, from Babel's Odessa to Semen Mogilevich to the South African guys. I do see the sense in your last reason.
Thanks for the very interesting comment, K.
"I believe that mourning rituals are for the living - the dead, being dead, don't care about such things." Who said otherwise? Yet the dead are with us, they continue to figure in our thoughts, they intrude in our life, they visit us in our dreams. Yesterday my cousin called from Melbourne to ask about the diseases of our long dead ancesors (she is filling some kind of questionnaire) and there you had J coonecting with the dead. BTW I said hr to write that our grandparents and others died of gas poisoning, but she was not amused. Then I said she should write "Judaism" - that was the fatal condition that caused their death - but she said that that was not a disease.
"..one can only shudder to think how dominant the Jews would be in the absence of such anti-Semitism
They do shudder.
it feels strange to discover that one is not unique, that other people do think and see reality no less clearly than one. It does happen in the interactions with my cheating clients and bureaucratic regulators that they let escape a word and suddenly it seems to me that deep down they know just like me what is happening. But they NEVER aknowledge that they know so I am left with the lingering doubt of "Are they or are they faking it?" Are they really dumb or are they faking dumbness? Unbelievably, I went through life believing that all people was faking dumbness, only when I started teaching and taking written exams I understood that they are really dumb.
K: Who is the losing party in the Clinton marriage? Let me put it less directly: German and Hungarian Jews made large fortunes in the 18 and 19 century, and their children married into the European high aristocracy. A hundred years after, where are their descendants? And where are the descendants of the poor religious (backward) taylors that landed in Brooklyn and married the next door yenta? The best party for K's daughter is an ordinary yid boy (not that he will be asked).
I hope my message is clear. The descendants of European aristocrats have dissolved into the great mass of European proletariat. The descendants of the Poylische taylor and his nextdoor wife are leading the universities and managing world economy. I think no sacrifice you can make would be too heavy to make your daughter marry a yid. Well, I overcame my fear and spelled it as I think it is.
Volkmar Weiss has a theory, ostensibly supported by facts, that the proleteriat is simply the failing members of the upper class, and constantly needs to be replenished by a stream of upper class ne'er-do-wells.
In other words, there is a downward trajectory in some lineages which eventually ends up in reproductive incompetence and extinction.
I think there is something in it, but it might require several generations to manifest.
Anon.
"German and Hungarian Jews made large fortunes in the 18 and 19 century, and their children married into the European high aristocracy."
With very few exceptions, they did not marry into the high aristocracy at all. Simply possessing a "von" or even a title such as "freiherr" doesn't make one a member of the hochadel. Rather some, and really not all that many, married into the low aristocracy. Of course some of their descendants still suffered for the taint of Jewish ancestrym which makes your reasoning that her descendants will be better off with a full does of such ancestry less convincing. Others who fared better still lost a lot in the upheavals of two world wars. American Jews were lucky in part because they were isolated from these events.
My feeling is that Judaism is a tainted brand. Better to switch to another brand that arouses less hatred in such a large number of people.
Anonymous, I have a different impression. Noveau Rich Jews did marry into the highest European aristocracy, just read the antisemite literature that "exposes" the degree of Jewish blood even in the British Royal family. From my point of view, the Jews who married into the aristocracy with fancy titles and large debts, were a net loss for our people and for their own families. Those very succesful Jeish businessmen and industrialists were much better than the clubbing, drinking, card-playing, hunting, uneducated useless sons and daughters of the decadent aristocracy. European aristocracy was unable to maintain its position and by 1920 they were mostly driving taxis in Paris.
J, I agree with you, but I have to say that I am more or less helpless to do anything about it except tell her what I will tell you below. When humans are in proximity, they tend to mate unless there are very strong social barriers in place (and sometimes even then). I have made my wishes known to my daughter and she has received a Jewish education, etc. but we live in a society where people of different backgrounds live and work among each other and there is no great societal stigma attached to intermarriage on either side, so it is me against the whole current of society. Intermarriage, even mixing of the races, has been going on forever - Moses married a Midianite and later a Cushite (black woman). I hope I can prevail but I can't be sure at all that I will. My nephew and his (Jewish) wife called yesterday to say they are expecting a baby so there will be at least one more generation of Jews in my family. Am Yisroel Chai!
Here is a parable - my wife's brother's first wife was Jewish. She was also not mentally balanced, cheated on her husband, etc. Luckily they divorced before they had children (and she never had any). His 2nd wife is goyish. She is a banker on Wall St. and a well respected figure. Although she never converted, the children were raised Jewish and had bar mitzvot and received a stable upbringing. Who was the better wife?
Another question - suppose you had told your daughter that you had a strong preference for an Ashkenazi son-in-law. The Yemeni Jews are OK but it is better not to mix the blood, etc. The cultures are too different - what kind of tradition is this to smear shmutz on your hands? Would she have listened to you?
As far as Judaism being a damaged brand, I don't care. It's mine and I'm keeping it. My father did not struggle every day to stay alive in the ka-zet so that his descendants could become goyim. The easiest thing to do in the camp was to give up - life was hell every day and death would have been a relief, but he was determined to do his part to thwart the Nazis and continue the Jewish people. I've told this many times to my children and I hope they listen.
The prophetic words of the Wannsee Protocol have always echoed in my mind. The plan for the final solution was laid out - the able bodied will be taken for hard labor on roads, etc. where most will die of natural causes (i.e. be worked to death). But, the Germans understood, those that, like my father, refused to die would be the ones who threatened their plan the most:
Der allfällig endlich verbleibende Restbestand wird, da es sich bei diesem zweifellos um den widerstandsfähigsten Teil handelt, entsprechend behandelt werden müssen, da dieser, eine natürliche Auslese darstellend, bei Freilassung als Keimzelle eines neuen jüdischen Aufbaues anzusprechen ist. (Siehe die Erfahrung der Geschichte.)
" The possible final remnant will, since it will undoubtedly
consist of the most resistant portion, have to be treated
accordingly [i.e. exterminated], because it is the product of natural selection and
would, if released, act as a the seed of a new Jewish revival
(see the experience of history.)"
"Den widerstandsfähigsten Teil" -That's what I am - and what my children are - the most resistant part, the product of a 2000 exercise in Darwinism, the lump of pure gold that emerges from the fires of the refinery after all the impurities have been burned away, the clear alcohol that emerges from the still after the 3rd distillation, the tree that sprouts from the burned forest. It would be a bloody shame to ruin this experiment now. That's what I tell you and that's what I tell my children.
K
Anon wrote...
In other words, there is a downward trajectory in some lineages which eventually ends up in reproductive incompetence and extinction.
I can testify that some of this is going on, but I also want to point out that we are on the verge of seeing a large number of childless Boomers die alone. For about two years I used to buy groceries for an old Italian man who had retired here in the Valley. I originally offered to help him get his groceries and the old man kept plotting to try and have me there all week. I would get my visits down to once a week and the old man would have some pressing need for me to take care of and soon he would be calling me a couple days a week. I finally ended it when during the process of helping him he kept yelling at me over little things.
The reason Mike kept wanting me to come over is that he had no one to visit him as an old man, and he is still mentally sharp at 80. Unfortunately, all of Mike's three children live in Chicago and two of them don't normally talk to him. Mike abandoned his wife as soon as his last daughter turned 18 and left town, communicating rarely with his children. According to Mike none of his children had children of their own, and all of them are over 40.
All three of Mike's children will die alone with their spouses and they will have no one to attend their funerals. Mike himself will probably die alone in his trailer, since I am not willing to go over there five days a week to keep him company. I think Mike's case is representative of a generation that misraised their children (assuming they even had any), children that did not have any children of their own.
There are going to be a lot of elderly that are going to die without having anyone near them to comfort them at the end. We are on the verge of a dieoff.
Karma is a bitch, eh?
My wife's mother was always a very devoted grandmother and now my son visits her almost every day (it doesn't hurt that she has a swimming pool). Her current husband (not my wife's father, who died young) was the kind of business executive who had no time for his children, and now they have no time for him. Last year, as his health was declining, his daughter moved from nearby to Colorado, just to be sure she wouldn't have to be involved.
K
It is the result, quite obviously, of the failure to take a long-term view; but this is not a choice so much as an unconscious orientation.
The question is why so much sterility in a sea of plenty? I think it is due to the victory of secularism coupled with the contraceptive/abortion mentality and a huge dose of selfishness; whatever it is, it is a kind of 'learned spiritual vacuum' that can lead young people to choose not to to breed. If you look at TV, the press etc you see this vacuum is constantly re-inforced; ethnic identity (especially white ethnic identity) is vilified, "stuff" is way,way priorised over kids,the future doesn't matter, sex is usually depicted totally decoupled from reproduction and female role models (eg Hilary) are either childless or have one late child.
This is the real reason why they hate Sarah Palin; she is a white breeder, it scares the hell out of them. They try to insinuate with every breath that white people having kids is evil; but they just can't say it out loud.
Anon.
"...eines neuen jüdischen Aufbaues anzusprechen ist. " Well, well, here we are on the march.
Regarding the pure gold thing, K, I used to think exactly the same way but (1) my Mother and Father and others who made it through Hell did not think like that, they didnt think they were special at all or there was any merit in their making it through, on the contrary, they thought their brothers, parents, uncles, teachers, etc. were much better than themselves. They did not felt about themselves as an elite but lowest of the lowest, the dirt that sticks and remains after cleaning the pot. They really did, I assume this is your personal experience too. The survivor books - the few I read - like Viktor Frankel and Primo Levi - ry to present it as they had some kind of heroic quality, but it seens to me transparent that they are writing a commercial book and they are not sincere and fail. (2) Survival was very much a question of luck. When Mengele selected my uncle to die because he did not believe he was old enough to work (he was 15), his death was unrelated to his qualitites. Polish Jews who reached say Treblinka had not a chanve to survive, Hungarian Jews that arrived in August 1944 to Auschwitz had maybe 5% chance and maybe 10% if they were of the right age (say 16 to 25) and in good health like my mother.
Regarding being helpless with regard to our daughters, I completely share your sentiment and experience. However, it seems to me that in their rejection, they are watching very carefully and in their tortuous ways, they are trying to fulfill their parents's hopes for them. Getting married is the most difficult project they have and they dont accept help nor advice. I am helpless, money will not help and they will not accept it, education is too late, social events I organize are detestable for them and will not come, boy I put in their way will not even look at them, now all is in the hands of chance and themselves.
Regarding Volkmar's theory, that there is a permanent population movement from the higher classes towards the proletariat, it looks sensible yet I am unable to comment on it. The accepted theory is that society is like a kerosene lamp, fed from below and burning in the top. The very name of proletarian comes from prole, Latin for children. Proletarians are the people who has the children. From Galton on the theory is that proletarians reproduce faster and the movement is always upwards. I live in such demographically chaotic and irregular times that I cannot form an opinion.
Regarding Volkmar's theory, that there is a permanent population movement from the higher classes towards the proletariat, it looks sensible yet I am unable to comment on it. The accepted theory is that society is like a kerosene lamp, fed from below and burning in the top. The very name of proletarian comes from prole, Latin for children. Proletarians are the people who has the children. From Galton on the theory is that proletarians reproduce faster and the movement is always upwards. I live in such demographically chaotic and irregular times that I cannot form an opinion.
Anon, Mike is an Italian-American who is the son of immigrants from Italy. Mike rejected the Catholic religion and became an atheist after reading the Bible. As far as I know Mike was the youngest of eight children and possibly the brightest of them all, certainly the only one to have the potential to go to college. Mike married the daughter of Scandinavian immigrants and was married in a Catholic church even though he had left the faith.
When I used to go over to help him Mike would always curse his wife (whom he had never divorced) and claim that he had married the wrong woman. From his description he must have had an unhappy marriage and he did nothing to rectify it. Mike just suffered through and ran off as soon as his last daughter graduated from Catholic school in Chicago.
The last day I talked to him Mike maintained that he didn't need me to keep him company and that all he supposedly needed me to do was go shopping for him. Mike's claim was that he had gotten used to living in his decaying 47-year old trailer all by himself and that my point that he was lonely was all bull. I asked him why he didn't just call his children and he stated that he left Chicago for a reason and that he couldn't just go back. I think Mike is pretty clearly estranged from both of his daughters and his son is only involved in his life enough to call once a month. Of all three of his children, only his son has visited him once in the 26 years he has been in Mesa and only then when he was on the verge of death in the local hospital.
I won't visit him, no matter how sincere Mike is that he needs me to do just one thing. Mike will always want more of my time, trying to get me to be the grandson he never had.
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