Dear Guard your Eyes,
My husband is 30 years old and we've been married for 8 years. For the last 7 years (perhaps even longer, I don’t know) he's been a Lust addict. I've caught him with newspapers, with a magazine, on the internet, acting out, etc. There have been many ups and downs over the years (mostly downs) and I'm slowly reaching a point of despair. I am so full of questions and doubts, and most of all I have no-one to talk to. We recently started therapy...
I thought it was a satirical site, but not, it is dead serious. This site proves that everything Greg Cochrane wrote about Ashkenazi IQ is wrong. Somos mas locos que una cabra (we are crazier than a goat).
Pic.: Crazy goat at the top of the organizational tree.
9 comments:
The couple should watch the Yale University course Introduction to Psychology, PSYC 110: Evolution, Emotion, Reason: Love, guest lecturer Peter Salovney. Salovney is supposed to be a very popular lecturer, and now a dean who still does research. You can watch it on YouTuble http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZoBgX8rScg or use iTunes University, find the course and download.
Following Sternberg, Salovney defines a love relationship as having all three of the following primary components: (1) intimacy; (2) passion; (3) commitment. A couple can have all possible subsets or 2^3 = 8. I guess none of the 3 is nothing at all-- a stranger relationship, so it's really 7. The couple in question seems to have two of the three: intimacy and commitment. They have intimacy because they share secrets they wouldn't share with strangers, and commitment because they are married, together a long time and have children. Sternberg calls this "companionate love." It's possible this couple doesn't even have (1) meaning they don't share secrets and have no bonding. This is pretty much the end stage of a marriage before divorce, although many couples can remain with (3) and (3) alone for a very long time. The woman wants a full love relationship and can't get it. The husband is getting (2) by synthetic means. Now young women want everything so I suspect this couple will proceed to divorce. The wife will eventually remarry and repeat the cycle until she realizes that "two out of three and bad" as Meatloaf sang. Yes there was a singer called "Meatloaf." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgK6dBefpu8
The whole theory presented in the lecture might be bullshit, I don't know. The lecture does elaborate on all these concepts and more. It's worth the hour of your time to watch.
If Wife wants a divorce and husband won't give her a Get, then there could be major trouble. I am led to believe that in Israel the government will jail a husband who refuses to give a Get. They will jail him indefinitely until he gives in. In theory such a recalcitrant husband could remain in jail longer than a terrorist who blows up buses full of people and murders families. He need only wait until the Arabs kidnap someone to get sprung. The otherwise innocent husband remains locked up forever. I personally regard such a state of affairs as abhorrent. But that's just me, others differ.
zarkov01, Sorry, but you, Sternberg and Salovney are far, far away from the spiritual, social environment this poor woman is living, suffering from that Lust-addicted husband. She is trying to flee sin, like a Corinthian Christian in the first century.
... and like the Skoptsy (скопцы). A different universe.
... and like the Skoptsy (скопцы). A different universe.
Crazy and stupid are two different things.
K
"... this poor woman is living, suffering from that Lust-addicted husband. She is trying to flee sin, like a Corinthian Christian in the first century."
We have only her side of the story by which to the judge the situation. She tells us that her marriage lacks passion because her husband suffers from a pornography addition. That might be true, but things don't happen in a vacuum. His becoming porn addicted (assuming this is even true) just could have something to do with the wife. I avoid taking sides in a domestic dispute because you never know what's really happening even when you know the people personally, let alone as a web posting. This I have learned from experience.
Knowing my people, I doubt she is complaining about pornography as you undertand the concept. In Jerusalem, looking at any woman is sin, and a singing girl (not Madonna but Mary Poppins) is Satan itself.
I don't know - the internet has very few barriers so even if you start out looking for something very mild you can quickly end up with something much more.
K
Not in this case, K. We are talking about a haredi woman living in a haredi neighborhood. The only newspaper her husband may read is Yeted Hane'eman or so. You may have no opportunity to inform yourself through a religious paper. For one, there are no pictures of women in it. If they feel thay have to publish a photograph where a women is seen, they will erase the woman. Travelling in a bus in Jerusalem you will not see advertisements featuring females on the walls. If you have to pass a woman, you will hide your eyes under the shtreiml or turn around completely so other men see that you are a pious Jew.
Abd there are no TVs in religious homes, and should it be one, we have here a public censure committee that takes care of your morals. The idea of porn in the yeshive is to look up in the dictionary the word "uterus".
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