Friday, March 02, 2012

Can One Get Pregnant In The Water?

I have succesfully orientated my third daughter towards a sports B.Ed. at the Wingate Institute, which she likes, and got her a job in a swimming school and as lifeguard. Now I am trying to develope her career. I have published two promotional articles on swimming under her name and am looking for a suitable pool to rent next summer and start her own swimming course for children. I am vicariously living through her, which is as it should be. I for one enjoy it.

My first article was about teaching children to swim, explaining that drawning was the number two cause of children death (the first are road accidents), and how their lives could have been spared by a few swimming classes. My second article was about shaving in competion swimming, which is highly regulated in the USA (to avoid entering swimming pools with small bleeding cuts) but in Israel no one pays any attention to the issue. Moreover, I applied my fluid mechanics expertise to examine if the aerodynamicaly distributed hairs such as those on the human body increase velocity (by arranging the flow in a linear profile) or cause turbulent flow and decrease velocity.

I am maturing a third article in my own name featuring my open ocean lifeguard wisdom acquired during my summers in Monte Hermoso (a Patagonian beach on the cold Atlantic Ocean), in Mar del Plata and my last two glorious summers ruling the exclusive Punta del Este beaches of Uruguay. It was there that I used to be approached by mini-bikinied girls asking the title question. My prepared answer was: "Yes, of course you can get pregnant in the water!" If the girl was worth it, I went into a learned explanation that seawater is a weak spermicide but a tight fit will avoid its intrusion into her relevant anatomy. But more than sex, I was interested in exploiting the girls as a source of food and I used to ask them to bring me sandwiches to the beach, as I could not leave it unguarded. I remember those lettuce and mayonnaise sandwiches as it was today; the girls I have long forgotten.

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